HENPECKED HUSBANDS AND DOMINATED WIVES

Eph. 5:21

Morning Meditation 1/25/2014

Verse 21 says, "Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God."

When a man submits to his wife in our society, he called hen-pecked. When a wife submits to the God given authority of her husband in our society she is said to be married to a domineering husband. All the liberated women feel sorry for her and would gladly give this "dominated wife" advise on what to do. And if her husband will not give her freedom, they will gladly recommend divorce. It is liberation at any cost. I have this little thing that turns flips inside me when I get a "secret thrill." And I get it when I see the look on a woman's face when she is in a conversation with a submissive wife and the submissive wife says, "I'll have to ask my husband first!" Wouldn't it just turn you on to hear Mrs. Clinton say that?! Now let me really add fuel to the fire. I always consult with my wife before I invite someone to my home for a meal, spend the night, or, before I buy an item that amounts to anything, or before I agree to do something that I think that she would like to be a part of especially in the decision making. She is a business partner that covers the whole of my life. I check in with her if I am out doing "the Lord's work" like visiting hospitals, and I am going to be a little late getting home. She basically knows where I am at all times. I want it that way. Paul says by inspiration of God, "submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God."

The words "submitting yourselves" (hupostasso) mean, "to obey, be subject. A Greek military term meaning 'to arrange [troop divisions] in a military fashion under the command of a leader'. In non-military use, it was 'a voluntary attitude of giving in, cooperating, assuming responsibility, and carrying a burden.'" I'll never forget counseling a man who told me that his wife, after he had told her to do something, went into the bedroom and came out dressed in his old Air Force uniform, stepped before him and saluted and said, "yes sir." Then proceeded to do what he had told her to do. I don't know, but I think there was a little resentment in that act of obedience! And she may have been justified in resenting it because in counseling him I discovered he would not be an easy man to live with. But the situation does illustrate the meaning of this word as a military term. This is offensive to anyone who has not yet found his/her place of submission to Jesus Christ. You say, "preacher you just have a special wife." You do to. After all she saw something in you that made her accept your proposal. Now you have to admit that makes her brilliant! Unless you had a shot-gun wedding!

Let me give you a little open secret. When the children of Israel did not like what God said, they blamed Moses. And when you don't like what God says, it goes something like this. "Grace has set us free. We are not under the law and rules and things like this. A woman is no different than a man in Christ. This matter is just the preacher's opinion." Well, I don't want to be gross, or, bust your bubble, but if this is true, let's take down the partitions between the men's and women's restrooms in Church. You say, "Preacher don't be absurd." I say, "How about being right." Each of us have a God given place in life to serve.. I serve as a man and my wife serves as a woman. Each of us enjoys the place God put us because He is the most important person in our lives. We are not in rebellion against the way God made us. He made me a man and He made my wife a woman. And we know that submitting to one another is actually submitting to Him. That is what "as unto the Lord" means in verse 22.

The verb form "submitting yourselves" is a present passive participle. The present tense means that this is to be an on-going thing in the present tense of our lives. The passive voice means that we are to allow ourselves to be acted upon by the Word of God, i.e., what Paul is saying here is to allow the Word of God to effect a change and establish a practice in our lives. There are those who say "Well if I just do it because you tell me to do it, or, if I submit and my heart is not really in it, I am in slavery to you and to ideas I don't really agree with." You ask, "Is this right?" If you live by faith in Christ and are motivated by your love for Christ, absolutely. Where did you ever get the idea that the Christian life would never run contrary to the way you think? Where did you ever get the idea that most professing Christians would agree on what is right and what is wrong? Churches are torn up all over the country because every one has an opinion and the Baptist church is run democratically and it has created little clicks and people who are anything but submissive to the will of the HEAD. They argue and vote and wind up with Jesus outside the Church knocking at the door (Rev. 3:20). If you haven't discovered it yet, the door in Revelation 3:20 is not your heart's door, it is the door to the church at Laodicea. And Jesus is not in that Church. You say, "I agree and I'm getting out too." Wait a minute. Read this passage and you will find that Jesus does not recommend that you get out. He recommends that you hear his voice and invite Him in. And he promises that He will come in and "sup with you and you with Him." You say, "But I can't hear his voice." then your problem is not the Laodicean Church, it is yours. Something has your ears stopped up. It may be your own personal disobedience. It may be your judgment of others in the church. It may be that you are in a pity party because you don't get your way in the church. It could be many other things. But you will have to deal with whatever it is before you will be able to hear his voice. You start by stopping placing the blame on others for your bad hearing.

Paul says, "Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God." The words "one to another" (allelon) mean "one another, reciprocally, mutually." This definitely teaches that the man and his wife are together, they are partners in life. And once we are saved, it is a partnership of service to Jesus. The words "in the fear of God" set forth the right kind of fear. The word "fear" (phobos) is the word from which we get our word "phobia." It means fear, dread, terror; it is a fear that which strikes terror." I had an associate one time that had a fear of elevators. I didn't know this. We made hospital visits together. When I was going to the eighth or ninth floor to visit a patient, he would be huffing and puffing but he would be on that floor by the time I got there by way of the stairs. It is hard to understand why a person would run up the stair to the ninth floor of a hospital rather than deal with the phobia. So I tried to help him and talked him into riding the elevator. He submitted. But by the time he got to where we were going he looked like he had been working in 100 degree temperatures in a hay field. Well, I decided I wouldn't put him through that again. For a Christian to do something that even might be wrong, should have the same effect on him that the elevator had on that dear brother. For a professed Christian to practice questionable things without the fear of God, is to act just like an unsaved person (Rom. 3:18).

The differences in a marriage are caused by pride and stubbornness and both are condemned in the Word of God. I can hear some man say, "I just can't wait to do what God wants me to do until my dumb wife agrees." You better. You might start by seeing if her reluctance is caused by your own treatment of her. Or, a wife might do the same thing. There is one thing we know for sure. The Bible says, "Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God."

May the Lord bless each of you.

In Christ

Bro. White